Stupid Dolphins, stupid!

Although dolphins have long been celebrated for their high intelligence and for appearing to have a complex language, a team of researchers at the University of Florida reported Monday that these traits are markedly less evident on dry land.

According to The Onion, Dr. Scott Lindell, study co-author of this research project stated that: Their failure is a great disappointment to all of us who once felt an intelligence-based kinship with these majestic animals. He also commented about the experiment that their learning curve was actually negative. The more time we gave them to complete basic land-based tests, the more pitiful their efforts became, with many of them opting to bask in the sun rather than perform a simple task.

This is very disappointing. I would have expected more form these creatures. They should use us humans as role models, especially when we do our thing under water: like diving into the deep ocean and popping our eardrums, or actually using our sophisticated language skills whilst swallowing some salty H20. We are indeed great and powerful creatures, above or below land.